Jeremy Clarkson purchased Diddly Squat Farm, located in west Oxfordshire, England back in 2009. Since then he has given regular updates on his efforts, after being told by an expert that it was “the shittiest land he’d ever seen”.
The quality of the land hasn’t been Clarkson’s concern this year, however — he sorted that out long ago, one of his first tasks being to increase biodiversity and fix the soil. No, the former Top Gear presenter’s rage in 2020 has been directed firmly and squarely at the Weather Gods.
All God has done this year, explains Clarkson, is thwart my attempts to successfully grow crops, throwing all their might into rain, drought and cold: “He gave us the wettest autumn since 2000, the wettest February on record, the driest May on record and then, for good measure, the coldest July since 1988. He’s fried my crops, frozen them, drowned them and then drowned them again.”
Clarkson was warned by his fellow farmers not to expect a heavy harvest of barley, wheat or oilseed rape this year, due to the inclement weather. But he did end up with a little something to show for his efforts, and, after checking with BBC weather and hearing that the week held light winds and sunny skies, he proceeded to book the trucks and combine.
Predictably, the next day was historically cold and unusually wet, and Clarkson was furious: “To you, inaccurate weather forecasts don’t matter. The worst consequence is you have to abandon the barbecue you’d planned and move inside, but to a farmer they are critical, so I have a plea to the Beeb’s (BBC) weather people: if you don’t know — and at the moment you don’t, because the transatlantic pilots on whom you rely for information are all at home learning how to make sourdough bread — admit it.”
Clarkson did, eventually, wind-up with a paltry, “sub-par volume of crops” in the barn, but not due to his inexperience (that’s something of an act now, anyway), and not due to his land being the “shittiest” one expert had ever seen (another joke), but because of historically low solar activity, cloud-nucleating Cosmic Rays, and a meridional jet stream flow.
The COLD TIMES are returning, the mid-latitudes are refreezing — and even NASA appears to agree, if you read between the lines, with their forecast for this upcoming solar cycle (25) seeing it as “the weakest of the past 200 years,” with the agency correlating previous solar shutdowns to prolonged periods of global cooling here.
Don’t fall for bogus, warm-mongering political agendas — prepare for the COLD — learn the facts, relocate if need be, and grow your own.
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Grand Solar Minimum + Pole Shift